Top 5 Questions Pets Have

5.     When can I eat next?

4.     Where are you going and why can’t I go too?

3.     Why do I have to be naked if my owner isn’t?

2.     Can you teach me how to watch TV?

1.     How would things be if I owned you?

Advertisements

Top 5 Reasons Cars Are a Necessary Evil

5.    (Necessary) It wouldn’t be easy for my wife and I to have three jobs, two kids, one car, and no public transit.

4.    (Evil) Cars make the decision to fall apart, TWICE, right when it seems like finances were going to move in the right direction.

3.    (Necessary) How else would we transport ourselves through the ever-expanding suburbia we call home?

2.    (Evil) They often cost more to use and maintain than to purchase.

1.    (Evil) They force the decision of:  Do I fix the car so I can safely get to work or do I buy the groceries and fix the furnace while hoping the car fixes itself?

I guess, to me, cars a less of a necessary evil and more of an EVIL necessity…

Top 5 Reasons January 2nd is the Most Underrated Date of the Year

5.    For many people, young and old, it’s the first non-hung-over day of the year.

4.    It’s often the first work day of the year, so it’s the first chance to pull an office prank in the new year.

3.    In the future it will create a date that reads 1-2-34.

2.    Most resolutions may be made on January 1st, but most aren’t put into action until January 2nd.

1.    Everyone looks forward to that pesky day before it (New Year’s) even when it’s 364 days away.